Nursing: My Story

While I was pregnant I made the decision I was going to have no plan when it came to delivery. What ever Kelli and Heavenly Father decided I was just gonna go with it. But, I planned on nursing. That's all I had planned on.

But it didn't happen.


Some of you know I'm not nursing. Some of you just found out.


For the men, or women who aren't mothers yet: nursing is hard! I didn't even realize how hard it was till I was trying to do it. It's not simply you pop your boob in their mouth and they go to town. You have to teach them to get their tongue in the right spot and open their mouth wide enough. Then you have to get them in the right laying position that works for them. It's complicated!

My friend Tiffanie and her cutie Dax, making nursing look easy!

I tried.


It was a week of hell, (ask Troy). Kelli was so jaundice that she would fall asleep trying to eat. Which resulted in her getting little to no food. Which caused me to produce little to no milk. I tried pumping, I did it every two hours. Just as the lactation consultant told me to do. I would pump for a half hour then an hour later wake up Kelli to get her to eat. Fight her for 20 minutes then she'd go back to bed, and I'd start pumping all over again. It was a nightmare.

I was going crazy.

Luckily my dear friend Misty called me. She's has 10 children and a huge breast feeding advocate. I expected the big "you can do it!" talk. But she simply said


"Nursing doesn't work for every mom, or every baby."

We went back to the doctor the next day and I was given two choices:


1. Give her a bottle


2. Go to the hospital


Well I chose the bottle. And some mothers might have chosen the hospital. But her health and my sanity was more important to me. After I gave her the bottle I decided I would keep trying. But she would just scream when I tried to nurse, so that was the end of that.

Bottle Baby

At every doctors appointment I got defensive as to why I wasn't nursing. I even told one doctor "Does it matter? I'm not. End of story."


Then I saw one of my doctors and got asked the same question. And I was getting really hot at this point. I was about to argue my defense but he simply said


"it's over rated."


While some of you might get bent out of shape over that statement, I needed it. I needed a medical professional to not attack me, to simply let me know it's ok.


Now some people go around saying that if you don't nurse, your baby is going to have a lower IQ, attachment issues, that the baby won't bond with the mother. All I have to say is that's a load of crap.

Does this future sassy pants love her mom less because she is bottle fed?

While yes formula stains more than breast milk. I know plenty of adults who were bottle fed and are smarter than you and I put together. But I digress...


So Kelli's a bottle baby.

The next hurtle was which formula. Kelli just threw up Similac Sensitive and Enfamil. Again Misty came to my rescue. She had a can of Baby's Only Organic shipped to my door (what would we do without Amazon?) And that's what I've been using. :) And she was strictly on that for 3 months.

Best formula EVER

Then another friend introduced me to the idea of donors breast milk. It sounds weird, I know. I'm picky about who I use. I ask about diets and medicines. And most of these women I get to know on a more personal level. One we hang out time to time, going to Target or Red Robin.


Others when I pick up we just chat for a while then we go on our way.It's been a great experience and it's something I would do again.

One of my donors nursing her cutie!

So what inspired this post after 6 months? A few weeks ago was Breast feeding week. And I was hurt, hurt I wasn't one of those proud moms who was doing what God intended to take care of their child.


But then I thought about it. I live in a world where I can use a bottle, and not watch my baby get sick or even die because they won't eat.

So I've decided to celebrate to day as Bottle Day.

Love these bottles

What I've learned

I've learned a lot this past year and I thought it was about time I wrote it all down:

1. I have no self control when it comes to sweets. Hence why I have just put on weight.

2.I'm not meant to be that slim trim girl you see at Holister. And I'm ok with that.

3. Working, going to school, and having a baby is a lot to do. So do what you can in a day and be done with it.

4.Gerber makes horrible onesies

5. Carter's makes the best onesies.

6. Pampers diapers are the best

7. Huggies wipes are the best. I was sad that pampers wipes let me down

8. Get your self a good diaper bag. That was my one crazy purchase, and I love it.

9. Baby's Only Organic is the only formula a mother should ever use.

10.When your body says "you're not doing that today." You more than likely are not going to be doing that.

11. Babies sleep in cribs. Now, Kelli did sleep in a co-sleeper for one month. But had I had the space and the brains to get something BEFORE she had arrived. I would have gotten a bassinet. I tried taking a nap with Kelli over the last few months. And she didn't like it, I put her in her crib and she was out. Not to mention the idea that I could roll over my baby terrifies me. 

12. People like to label parenting styes, I'm always asked "what style are you doing?"
"The Kelli and Julia style" is my response. So do what works best for you and  your baby.

13. There is no such thing as too many hugs and kisses.

14. Every baby is different. While some love to be held others may not like it.

 13. I can't do everything. While I like to think I'm super women and can do it all, I can't. I have to swallow my pride and ask for help. And because I have been able to swallow my pride, I am able to get more done and Kelli gets to spend time with family. And maybe. Just maybe, I can be super woman. 

Because of all the help I can be super woman