The Nanny

Never have I realized before what being "a Nanny" in tales and how it is for all parties.
As the Nanny, after a while you start to feel like this is your child. You start telling the parents you need to do this, and this, "Don't forget!" things that would come out of a parent's mouth. And after you've been with the same child for a long time the parents will ask "since when did they like...?" "Do they like...?" I've already got both of these questions. I'm going to be gone for part of next week, and I'm already thinking "I got to tell the parents... Hope they don't... Make sure they know.." It's insane!You're like the other mother, that gets paid, and has to deal with everything that the real mother doesn't.

For everyone who socializes with said child. They don't know the parents. The nanny is the only one they see, to them the parents are unknown. If they don't see the Nanny, they ask "who are you?' School only sees them when asked to come and when the dreaded day comes.. The nanny calls in sick. And then the parents are like "what do I do with my child for 10hours!?!"

The parents. Now here I can only speculate. I'm told they only wish they were with their child. Which I'm sure is toward the end, not that they ever give let the nanny leave early if they get home early. And I'm sure they are confused and guilty when they learn something new or again, when they are faced with the child all day. The parent's have one of 2 attitudes toward the nanny. One: I'm so thankful for them! Two: I pay them they better do this, be here, etc etc.

The child. Again speculation. They get INCREDIBLY attached to the nanny. I'm sure they are confused at some points when the nanny is gone. And at some points they want the nanny. Which I'm always fascinated by. They get so attached, and used to the nanny, that is who they want. This is the person you see 90% of your waking week with. Especially if you've had them for a year +.

My view in all this. Having seen all this, it has made my want to raise my own children even stronger. I want my children to want me all the time and to not be confused as to who is taking care of them when. I want them to learn from other adults, see them, but to understand that I am the one that will be with them day in and day out. This is something Troy has been confused about. He says "what about work" I've been raised with my mother home, as long as I was not in school. As long as they're home, I'll stay home. No one else is raising my children. What kind of parent do you want to be?

A Full Month of Work

After some reflection this after noon, I realized I have been working 40 hour week since September 7th. During this time Troy and I have seen less and less of each other. Henry died we adopted Thomas, then work started. Troy is going to school and working about 15 hours a week. As you can imagine, there isn't a lot of Julia and Troy time.

Despite coming home exhausted and just wanting to just crawl in bed, Troy and I still manage to spend some time together every night. We read and pray together and then lights out! We spend some time together in the morning  eating some breakfast or lately Julia finishing getting ready and Troy laying on the bed; then that's about it. You would think that in the beginning it was nice to see each other than after a while the habit dies from the want to sleep in. But it hasn't! I think the want to do it has even stronger. Since there is such little time during the week, we just want to spend any second we can together.

What else has helped as odd as this may sound, is doing chores together. Despite the dreadful schedule the house gets clean and laundry still get done every week. We have even started doing some of the things together. It gets done faster, there is less for one person, and we can actually spend some time together. When something has to be done at my parent's house we both go over to share the work or just so that we are both there in case something else comes up or there is a problem. Thomas's litter box and toys get cleaned and put away as needed and we have even decided that both of us will always go to vet appoints. This is "our baby" and we both want to stay in the loop.

I have finally put my foot down about working Sundays. I have told all the people I work for that I will no longer do it in less it's an emergency which is: Someone is dying, lots of blood, or there is absolutely no one able to come in and the person will be left alone. Troy still works some on Sundays, but there is now a day were we can count on seeing each other for longer than an hour.

Despite all the trials we have drawn closer together as a couple and grown as individuals.

17 Miracles

Recently a new Mormon film came out called 17 Miracles. Let me just say this movie is fabulous. Even if you're not Mormon you'd love the movie. It's filled with hope, strength, and love. Any Christian should watch this movie.

Amazon- 17 MiraclesAfter the movie I decided I wanted to learn more about my family that crossed the plains in a handcart company. Two Hafens crossed the plains, the Hafens are my mother's father's side. A mother and daughter. I am unable to find out more at the time. I plan to ask my parents for some more information, I know we have some journals. Then there were some McMullin's my mother's mother side. Both were directed by Brigham Young to settle Southern Utah. I hope that more people are doing family research now. It's so amazing to learn more about where you came from. For example, only 2 brother's whose last name was Hills came to the US. There are several Hill, but very few Hills in the US. Why? Only 2 people came with that name. I'm sure over  the years more have come but the fraction is still very small. Decedents of them built the Mayflower. How cool is that!?
After watching it I started thinking of the miracles in my life. I decided I wanted to make a list of the 17 miracles in my life. At first I wasn't sure how I would get 17, but once I got going it was easy. I thought about posting it, but upon further thought I decided it was better for me to keep this to myself and challenge my few readers, to write down 17 miracles in their lives. It sounds hard, but once you get going you begin to realize there are more than 17.
But one miracle in my life that I will share is the miracle of family. Over the years I have been able to see several kinds of families. But the ones that always stand out is the ones that are united. Those families can have a tornado thrown at them and they'll still come out as one. My family has been through unemployment, people in and out of hospitals, Bipolar disorder, 4 people with ADD/LD, having no money, death, and now Alzheimer and marriage. 
Even though I bet no one will go out and watch 17 Miracles after this I hope you will take the challenge of listing miracles in your life and learning more about where you come from.

Raising a Kitten

As I said in a previous post, Troy and I adopted a kitten the day after Henry was put to sleep. What I didn't tell you all was Tabitha wasn't Tabitha! The day after that post we got a call from the vet that we had chosen the brother, Thomas! Troy was sad to return the pink stuff, but happy we were getting a "baby" none the less. Kittens are HYPER, he runs all over the place and jumps on and off the couches, tables, and us. He thinks we always want to play so he bites (playfully) but it still hurts. He also scratches a lot, but he is forgiven for that. On "Grooming Day" as I call it. When ever he gets a bath, nails trimmed, and teeth brushed the thing he hates most is the nails clipping. You'd think I was killing him the way he fights me.

When he gets out of control he gets put in the kitchen to calm down. He knows that when he goes in the kitchen it's like a time out. He cries, runs, etc. But it gets done. Now that he is older we allow him to come in our room. At night he sleeps right in between us. We're always scared we'll roll on him or something, but then we remember how quick he is.

Since we got a kitten we can kind of mold him. Henry was 7-8, he had his ways and he told us to get over it. Thomas we're trying to teach to CHILL. Lay on the couch, let us pet you, etc. But the big thing Troy wants him to learn is to go on a walk. His grandmother has taught her cat to walk on leash and Troy wants Thomas to do the same. It's a slow processes but I think he'll get it.
He does great with the people I work with. Most of my and Troy's clients have met him. He's a little skid-dish but he some how knows it's time to calm down.  They all love him, and I can tell he loves them.

He's also learned about the vet. I take him to the same one as Henry and an old friend also works there. Poor Thomas doesn't mind anything really, that is up until they need to take his temperature. You can't very well ask the animal to hold it under their tongue, like humans, the most accurate reading is a rectal reading. Poor things flops all over and cries. Kittens you take once a month to the vet, he loves the drive, but once we get in the room and he sees the doctor grab the thermometer he is ready to go. I don't blame him, I'd feel the same way.

When he comes up to the computer where Henry's picture is I tell him "that's your brother, Henry" in my mind all of our pets will be brother's and sisters since they are all part of the family, and will be forever. I firmly believe Henry will be in Heaven with us, he will know us and we'll know him. What a joy it is to know that even though someone or even an animal leaves this world, that we will be with them all again. We will all be gathered together as a family.

Henry day before Diagnosis

Utah Adventures

This past week I was in Eagle Mountain, Utah staying with my old college roommates family. The roommate had just gotten married so I was coming out to see her and meet the man, but only spent two hours with them. They were a cute couple. We went to In-N-Out burger, twas yummy!

Rachel and I!

John Christian would give me Flowers everyday!

We were in the mountains :)

This family is what most would call "odd." They home school, eat mostly only organic, don't listen to the radio, and the biggie. They don't have a TV! In my head I was like I'm going to die! But I didn't miss it at all. They have horses, I went horseback riding, I helped the 8 or 11 children home with their homework. The children will watch a TV shows on their mom's laptop through netflix, so at night we would watch an episode... or 2. I introduced them to Monk, and got the children hooked I think.

More mountains

I got to go to the Salt Lake City Temple, which was also different. I had been in the basement but never upstairs, as many of you know they do things a little different so it was a fun experience.


Church was also different. While the format was the same, the people were not.  I got one word: white. Here you got a little of everything, there notta. While there is nothing wrong with this, it can (and has) lead to very narrow views within the church. Think about it, Church head quarters are in Utah, most members in Utah are white. And some of the meanest members I've met are in Utah I saw 6 black children, all adopted.  My 2nd cousin adopted 8 black children, all teased called names, and the mom got hate letters, e-mails and calls for what she had done. I thought we were supposed to be Christ like? Show love one to another? The family I stayed with the dad is Chinese so the children are half Chinese. They all get teased and called names. If you're not white in Utah, you're gonna be treated differently.

Esther and baby Noah!

Ephraim eating!

While there I learned new ways to come closer to Heavenly Father, and i hope to apply them to my home. I hope to go back soon to see them all!

That was the view!

The King and Princess

Helping Julia wrap some Christmas presents

 
When I was in high school in June, I think Sophomore year. Gwen decided she HAD to have a cat. Mom caved and said fine. So on some Saturday Gwen, Dad, Jenna, and I went to the fairfax county shelter on West Ox Road. We played with three cats and none of was really "us" then I looked at the very end top cage. This 17 pound cat with a nick in his ear and I looked at each other in the eyes and I told the rest of the group "this is the cat" we took him in the play room and there was an instant connection.

His name was Henry.

Under the Christmas Tree

Dad filled out the adoption papers, we were all so excited. The officer brought him out and said "he is the sweetest cat here. I thought for sure he'd be gone the first day... I guess he was waiting for you" We took him in the car and the poor guy meowed the whole time. We stopped at Petsmart and got some cat things since we had NOTHING. Gwen stayed in the car and Jenna and I went to town. Henry was 7-8 so he was already set in his ways. He would not go in anything with a cover, and would much prefer to sit on your lap than play with some fake mouse.

Henry became apart of the family very quick. Mom would take a lint roller to him so he wouldn't get hair ALL over. Dad played with him. Gwen petted him. And I did everything else. I took him to the vet, etc. He was in the Christmas cards, we let him in and out as he willed and fed him as he willed. Which was a problem since he was a big guy.

Time for Henry to go out!

Henry soon got the middle name Arnold. After the family therapist. Henry Arnold Hills, is what we yelled when he was in trouble. And he knew it! We called him King Henry. He was truly the King of the house, and our hearts.

The first vet visit we found out ALL his teeth were rotten. We took him to a dentist. This was the dentist for the National Zoo. Very nice man. He had what was basically Osteoporosis of the teeth, $3,000 later Henry was toothless and very happy. Funny thing was, after his teeth were pulled. He would only eat dry food. Talk about odd.

Henry lived a happy care free life. The only worry was "when will I get my food?" and "When can I come in or out?"

About 3 months ago it was decided that it was best for all if Henry came to live with Troy and I. We were so thrilled. Here he got to go on the porch and sleep all day with no one to disturb him, then get all the love he wanted at night.

Henry had a sensitive stomach, which got him on prescription diet. But once he moved in with Troy and I vet visits were often since he had what we called "butt problems" every 3-4 weeks the vet prodded and gave him a baboon butt. But he was still as happy as he could be.

About 2 weeks ago we noticed he went form 3/4 a cup of food to 1/4. He should have been eating about 7/8 a cup. I called and left a message with the vet. But wasn't over ally concerned... in the beginning. He started coughing, and not eating a whole bunch but drinking water like it was candy! The vet called a week later when she was in the office. I only take Henry to one vet. She said he needs to come in tonight. She said she couldn't see him but she'd brief her a colleague and stay in touch. We came in and said his physical exam was great. He had gone from 20.3- 16lbs. Which he said was pretty fast for only a month. He wanted to blood tests and if needed an x-ray.

We left Henry for a few hours and went to Costco. At 8:30 when the vet was supposed to call I started calling, there had been several emergencies so he was busy, but promised he'd call within the hour. I was getting anxious at this point.

20 minutes later I got a call. He said "Julia, I have to be blunt, it's not good." He tells me has severe Kindney failure and I have 3 options
1. 3 day hospitalization that had a 50% success rate and cost $1,500.
2. Take him home and do IV fluids twice a day and give him a phosphate binder since his phosphate was high
3. Put him down

I started balling. He said come in, see him and we can discuss it.

We decided to bring him home. Henry's Keratin levels were 9.3. They are supposed to be MAX for a good kidney 2.4. The next day Henry's regular vet called, we decided to test his levels again on Thursday and if they didn't go down then it was time.  We knew this was just a good bye time. I didn't cook or clean at all till today. We both spent all the time we could with him. Crying and laughing.
Thursday came and his numbers had barely improved. She fully supported us in putting him down. Troy, Gwen, and I were in the room. The vet who had been with Henry for 2 years started crying. We said our good byes and left.

The King in his Throne

Troy and I went straight to the temple. We didn't care about traffic, weather, or anything. We were going to the temple. I was so at peace as we started the Endowment session. I payed attention to the animals, and knew he was with Heavenly Father getting all his tummy rubs and salmon flavored food he wanted with no pain. And no weight gain for that matter. Henry will always be in our hearts, no one will be able to replace him.

Today Troy and I took somethings to the Shelter to donate. Next thing I knew we were in the cat room. Looking saying oh and aw. We decided "just play" with this one kitten. Tabitha. Of course it wasn't just play. Next thing I knew we signed adoption papers. Tabitha is a 2 month old Tabby. We prayed after we signed the papers and knew it was right. Henry wanted us to rescue another cat, just like we rescued him.Troy called her a lil Princess. Do not think we didn't grieve Henry, or not respect him. 

We know Henry is happy, and wants us to be happy.

Jenna and Henry having fun

Who Do You Depend On?

This week I've been thinking about dependence. As children we depend on our parents. We rely on them to keep us safe and run to them in times of sorrow. Pets depend on their owners to feed them. A wife depends on her husband, and a husband depends on his wife. But what if the person we depend on isn't quit what we need?

I've decided that Saturday is my cleaning day, I'll vacuum, change the sheets and do laundry, etc. I woke up and just started vacuuming since Henry was outside (he doesn't like the vacuum.)

I asked Troy to help, does Troy help?

No.

He decided it was his day off.

After a heated debate he got up and did. The point is I depended on him to help. On a larger scale: When things started to get hard at home mom depended on the Ward to help, take people to the Doctor, bring a dinner here and there.

My old college roommate is getting married,  she depends on her future husband to be everything he can be and to do anything he can to help her, we'll see how long that lasts! Her mom just had a baby not too long ago, she depends on her husband to help her. And the baby depends on them to feed him and change his diaper.

But what happens when the people we depend on fall short? Divorce, neglect, dead pets, people going insane from having so much thrown at them. We should all do our part and think of the other person (especially in a marriage and family.)

This means we need to be careful who we depend on, you can never be too picky. I had my checklist. I think we should all have a checklist. Not one that says "tall, blonde hair, blue eyes" But one that has qualities, characteristics, in a person you can confidently depend on no matter what. Would you trust a child molester with a child. I hope not!

Diane

When you have someone with a disability there will always be a need for dependence.

TO A POINT!

My good friend Diane has ADD. She believes she could never live on her own. She can get her self up to work, do basic cooking, clean, she can manage money (on a small scale), WHY NOT!? When I said this too her she was in total shock. Doesn't mean you have to leave now, but don't think you can't in the future. Hailey will always need someone with her, she has full body tremors and seizures. But that doesn't mean she can't do things independently in the house.


But we can always depend on our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. If everyone else in your life fails, you KNOW you can always turn to him and he will let you know what is the best thing to do. 

So, be careful who you depend on. Make a list and stick to it. If the person you depend on his falling short, have a discussion, make your feelings and thoughts known. Take stronger course of action if needed. So, ask your self the simple question:

Who do I depend on?

Eat, Pray, Love

When you saw the title you prob thought "aw this will be like the movie." And it could be, I've only seen about 10min of it. So you tell me. But I thought it was an appropriate title.. and that's all I could think of.

EAT- I've been trying to be more Domestic in an attempt to save money. And just because I like the idea of being able to cook. It's gone OK. Troy hasn't died or gone to the hospital, which is good. But I haven't made any OMG meals. Partly because I haven't had the time to put forth the energy to produce said meal. And I'm trying to loose some weight, so when the cook doesn't want to eat the rest starve. :) The cook book for Busy Families is great. Simple and the meals are good. And I am sitting here eating Sweet Frog, for those of you who don't know is an AMAZING frozen yogurt place.

Pray- Maybe I should have just titled this PRAY, but I like Eat, Pray, Love better. As many of you know I'm preping for the Praxis. Well I just took a practice, and lets just say I think I might have to take it again after that. It goes up to like 8th grade math!

What is wrong with me!?!

I would like to know so that I can fix this. I need this to get into the school of Education, so failing is not really an option here! So there's been a lot of Prayers/ begging going on around here. Troy has decided to take classes here this semester so moving won't happen till the end of the semester at least.

This too has been a heavy topic in the Bouley apartment. We would love to go to ISU, but our butts don't seem to be moving!! Things at home have been hard, and for that praying has also become a common thing here. I refuse to move until I feel at peace that mom, dad, and Gwen will be able to rely on themselves and members fully.

Love- Through these past few weeks my love for my husband and the Savior has grown. Hearing him say his prayers and feeling the Savior acknowledge us has been very humbling. Note how I said acknowleding not answering.

My love for my job and the people that it entails. How many people say thank you for helping me in the shower? Change clothes? Taking me out with friends? For spending an extra 45min after I was supposed to leave just to make sure that you had a ride home.

And of course my love for the Hills', while the trasition to not living there and being as envolved as been a trying one, it has all finally come together. And my love for education.

I hope we all can have an Eat, Pray, Love moment in our life.. and please pray for my Praxis!!!

Compare and Contrast

One of the families that I work with is very active in their church, Mclean Bible Church. Which is a non-denominational Christian church. Here they have a full band, choir, and then professional singers. This is a 180 from a Mormon service. And I must say, it was AMAZAING! The dad majored in Tuba performance he is the conductor of the band, then his wife works in disability services and performs the flute, she majored in flute performance. I know why Mormon's don't have a band, etc. But still! If we are supposed to invite the spirit through music, I think we can still do it with a little oopmh! Now the Sermon. The overall subject was bringing up America, all the points he made was exactly what we believe in. BUT, there were some small but key difference:

#1: Where we learn to be like Christ: Pastor Solomon went through this long list of activities at church, But he completely left out the home. You can go to church and do all you want, but if there no charity at home then what's the point?

#2: How to share the message: Local people have heard of Mclean Bible. They have little things on the radio called "not a sermon just a thought" which are very point blank. While talking to the radio people they asked "why don't you do it like the Mormons and be warm and fuzzy?" He said that his job was not be to make us feel better, but to share the Gospel. Mclean Bible, in the past (I don't know about now) has been Anti- Mormon. I couldn't help but chuckle!
They just started a program called being "on the front line" what is this program? Why they go outside! They talk to people, they are MISSIONARIES! I couldn't help but laugh! We've been doing this from the beginning of the church and Mclean Bible, who, like all churchs, claims to be the true church, just started this.

And I liked how the service was just an hour and 15min. What caught me off guard was the style of praying they would just say "let us pray" and in to the prayer they went. The first time I was confused till I saw that people near me had their eyes closes. I need a warning so I can prep, you know? What was distracting was the during the prayer is when the band would come on and off. How can THEY pray if their walking and getting situated. While strategically this  the time, spiritually, it's the last time.

The thing that has always drawn me in. Is how they do so much for people with disabilities. The head pastor's daughter has disabilities. Since this they have all kinds of accommodations set up camps, lectures, Sunday School classes, and then the biggest and possibly best is what is called Jill's house . It's a "hotel" for children with disabilities. Parent's can leave their children here for up to 4 days. To just get a brake from all the constant needs. Fully staffed with a sensory room and all. While I may not support the church's gospel, I fully support (and even recommended) the services they provide for children with disabilities.

It was very interesting to see while I didn't disagree with some of the little things, which can add up to be big. In the overall message and thought, all Christians come together.

Called to Serve

Today I said good bye to Elder Hills.

We had a beautiful meeting with the Stake President for his setting apart. As a father of four and has sent 4 missionaries he was very aware of how we were all feeling about Elder Hills leaving. While we rejoice with him on his call and desire to serve the Lord in Tempe, Arizona we are sadden to see him leave. He asked us to call David, Elder until he is set apart 2 years from now, as this will be his name. He will no longer be known as David to the world.

The most ingenious thing that the Stake President did is that we had an opening prayer but not a closing. He said the closing will be given in 2 years when he has returned and he has been released, then we will have a closing prayer. Isn't that cleaver!

Elder Hills leaves for the MTC (Missionary Training Center) tomorrow. Apparently that have changed it even more. It used to be that parents could check in their child then go to an orientation with them and then say good bye. Then I heard you say good bye when checking in. NOW you park in the parking lot and 2 other missionaries immediately come up and grab the luggage and say "Welcome Elder (or Sister)" and promptly take them to check in. Good thing I'm not going, or I might make a scene. :-D

While I felt it was not my call to serve as a full time Mission seeing my brother prepare and WANT to serve has been inspiring, and heart warming. It has kindled the light I once had to serve to the best of my ability while not being a missionary. While this light went very much down with getting married and moving, I know it is time to start caring those pass along cards again. I hope we all have the desire to serve, not necessarily in a churchie way, but as a kind person. To take time to help the grandma load her car, or offer to help a mom with 4 children in the grocery store line, or even just a little smile.  


We have all been Called To Serve in this life, our callings are individually tailored to us as individuals, as such we are all expected to act on this service so that we can be all we can be, and make each other the best we can be. 

Time for us

I am legally Mrs. Bouley!

And it was amazing how fast it went. In ONE day I went to the Social Security office (only took 1hr) then straight to the DMV (3mi away and only took me 30min). I have ordered the wedding album and a separate reception album (each were $60 on shutterfly).

As you can imagine we haven't had much time for us. Both of us are working our butts off to make as much money as possible. Not only to pay off Troy's bills, (car repairs, he's more responsible with money then I'll ever be.)

And as some of you may know we want to move to Idaho. BYU-Idaho would be an amazing place for Troy to learn more about the church and what it means to be a Mormon. ISU (Idaho State University) has a SPED bachelors program at the Twin Falls campus (30min away from Rexburg). Rent is also significantly cheaper, while also finding  job is significantly harder! But we both feel that is where we will both succeeded the most. So we are trying to save as much money as possible. Last night Troy made the comment "

Are we ever going to have a day just to our selves?" when we were reviewing the schedule for today. I jokingly said "Nope!" But I later realized... This isn't funny! I want a day with my husband! We both work usually 7 days a week. While yes Troy can come with me and I can go with Troy to work sometimes. But what about that one-on-one time?

This morning we went to the temple, bright and early with my parents. As we sat in the Celestial room we realized since our honeymoon, this was one of the few times it's just us, sitting , for even just a little bit. How can you build a relationship with someone if the only time you see that someone is when you're going to bed! Later today we had stake conference. The theme is bringing souls to the lord.

Troy really wants to start doing his family history. We want to start doing that together, so how does a broke newlywed  couple find the time? I'll let ya know when I know! But I do know we are going to make more time for each other, hoping that every thing else will fall into place.

The beginning of Happily Ever After

This is the first blog by Mrs. Bouley! While I'm working on legally changing my name, which is a nightmare I must say, people still call me Mrs. B. :) There were no being scared on May 21, 2011 I decided the only things I would worry about was my flowers, my dress, the photographer, my cake and Troy. If those went fine, then the rest I didn't care about the rest. We had 163 people come to the reception and I'd say about 20 at the sealing. Many of the people who I wished would be there where there, except for one Family in Utah who not only had the mom had the baby 2-3 weeks ago, but the baby was back in the hospital during our honeymoon. So they are forgiven. Everything ran smoothly, I had every thing I needed, the hairdresser was early I was running early, Gwen was in a good mood. Troy and I got to the temple early, and got to great some friends as they came in.
I got to wear my dress for sealing! We got to the church on time and ready to go. Even the weather was perfect! While clouds were being called for all week, on Friday all of sudden it all changed to sunny, 80, with a cool breeze. What a perfect day.
Troy didn't have his car back so we stayed at the hotel in VA an extra day, we came home and opened presents! I was like a 5 year old at Christmas I was so excited. We got the car on Monday and off to Myrtle Beach we went.
We stayed at Ocean Reef Resort (OK place) but a beach front hotel. Gorgeous view. There was much to do there, we went to the beach for an hour or so every morning then we went out and did something. While we were on our honeymoon like I mentioned earlier a close friend and her new baby were in the hospital. She was great about keep me updated, Troy complained that I took my phone but he knew if something happened I had to know. The baby was being test for Mosaic Downs Syndrome and instantly we both constantly made sure I had my phone. Since we both work with children with disabilities and this was new to the family he knew I was going to be front and center if something was needed.
Amongst all this, we still had a blast, going out and about.

When we got home Troy didn't stop with the honeymoon. He was cleaning, cooking, doing things that was sitting on my to do list, all done by the time I walked in the door. How great was this!? THEN he bought me the kindle that I had been saving and begging for.

This is the beginning of a Happily Ever After.

Who should be thanking who?

A friend from church has had her grandson diagnoised with Autsm. As of now, these things tend to change. And it's been an uphill battle for them. Talking about how difficult it is, hard, sad, etc. While it is hard and difficult, I would never use the word 'sad.' Parent's always say "you don't know what it's like to live with a child with a disability." True, I will not argue that. But.. I know what it's like to work with them. I've done several day/ overnight jobs. Don't forget, you can send your child to school, camp, after school activities. Just like another child. It's all relative I guess.
I was once told that Heavenly Father sent these children to the world with disabilities or that they get disabilities as a way to protect them. These people are so amazing, so innocent, that Heavenly Father HAD to protect them. And what better way? Some people believe that they even led Satan and the 2/3rds out of Heaven. I believe these sayings. They are so innocent, while they may know it's bad to hit or bite, they don't know that dropping the F bomb is out of line, let a lone what it means! They are just like children. They get a free pass to Heaven. I want one!
I always feel so blessed to be working with this pobulation. While parnents always say " Thank you for watching so and so" "Thank you for letting us have a break" "Thank you for the inforamtion." Thank you for anything!! Never have I met parents who are so grateful for anything you can give. Something we should all learn. And someone always knows someone, you get to know more people, activities, differnt kinds of therapies, connections is what we all need.
But, I always feel like they give me more.  They are first of all giving me a job. Then hands on experience for what I want to do for a living. And it never stops there, then you start to feel like part of the family eventually. They feed you, give you presents, I've had a parent give me money because they knew I'd been saving to buy an Ipod, so they gave me an extra $50, so I could buy it for a road trip I was going on. They'll take you on family vacations so you can help, but you're really getting a free trip to Disney land, you just have to stay with who ever you're working with. Hard? I think not! They share the information they have on any subject you ask about, it's a free class room! And the learning never ends. I always try to say "no, thank you!" when they say thank you to me. I feel like I'm the one that should be saying thank you instead of "your welcome". Now you do run into a child here and there, and when the parents come to relieve you you are like "THANK YOU" but for the most part, I usually want to stay and play or talk. :)

While yes on paper I am the one providing the services, in the situation, they are providing more for me.

9 Days and Counting

I've been struggling with idea's of what to write about and then I was like "DUH JULIA!!" I get married in 9 DAYS!! Many people have asked how do you feel? In my mind I think "what emotion am I NOT feeling?" It's so exciting, thrilling, and wonderful, but at the same time I'm terrified, scared to death, and over whelmed.

But knowing it will be in the temple is comforting. And that the people that are important in my life that are not able to come in will be outside waiting for Troy and I. 
Troy's dad and girlfriend fly in Wednesday, so I'm trying to think of the most effective way to clean early but not have to clean again right before he comes. Luckily one of my bosses told me my last day would be Tuesday and that she wouldn't have any argument. This was very helpful. Then my other job is only for 2 hours in the morning. Friday is the day I'll probably be having anxiety attacks. How do people sleep the night before their wedding? I mean, it's one of the biggest decisions and events in your life. How can you sleep knowing that? Benadryl, lots and lots of Benadryl I bet. Then we'll be in Myrtle Beach for 10 days.
A good friend of mine is a photographer, so I got some bridal shots done on Monday. My mom came and also wore her wedding dress. It was fun! We were next to a playground so all the children stopped and starred  at us. Awkward? Yes, but it was fun.

Saturday is the Bridal shower! My best friend is putting it together and holding it at someone from church's house. It should be fun, and it sounds like a lot of people will be able to make it!
This post is very confusing I'm sure, but to who ever reads this I hope that they get something out of it! 

In order to know one, you got to know the other

These past few weeks for me I've been on a WW2 kick. I've started watching a documentary on Auschwitz and currently watching Anne Frank. I also just finished a book on the Temple by Apostle Boyd K. Packer. Very good book if you're new to the Temple. With Passover just ending and having two best friends who are Jewish I always take a time to research a little on it and remind myself what they are celebrating. Especially since the book I was reading kept talking about Elijah.

The point of this blog is that in order for people to understand one, they need to understand the other. So! In order to truly understand the Bible (King James version, I've never read others so I can't speak for those) you need to understand the beginning. This being the Old Testament or the Torah (first 5 books of the Old Testament). You need to take a good luck at the Passover, Rosh Shanna, Yom Kipur and depending on your level of Judiasm much more. How many people know what the number 7 means? 3? Did you know that when they say 40 days in the Bible it usually really isn't 40 days!! It's just a really long time. I think some of my Jewish friends get sick of the questions. But I know that for me to really understand why some things are the way that they are you need to look at the beginning. The past 2 summers I have had a co-worker that is an Orthodox Jew, we would love to sit and talk about the similarities and differences between us. Have you ever done this? It's amazing!! I have truly learned a lot and in turn, have become a better Mormon. In this book about the Temples they kept talking about Elijah. Elijah is in the Old Testament people!! To understand the Temple, you need to understand the Old Testament! At Passover there is a place set at the table of Elijah, for when he comes. I am appalled sometimes at how little people know of other religions. We should always look for opportunities to learn, you may understand more about your own religion. For some Religion is a taboo subject, but if you approach it the right way it's not taboo at all, it's so interesting and such a learning experience. When talking to my Orthodox Jew friend I always learned more about Mormonism, and I think she in turn learned a lot.
So if you want to understand even more of the Bible I hope you will take my advice and learn more about the Judaism faith.  The Religion and history is so amazing and incomparable to others.
I challenge, my readers, if there are any. To talk to a friend, co-worker, the man in the bike next to you at the gym. To, if it feels appropriate and can come up, to talk about religion. Ask questions, seek to learn more about what they believe and why (not in a challenging way).   In order to know one, you got to know the other, don't you?

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone has had a lovely Easter Sunday. My Easter got started early this year. For a Mormon every Sunday is Easter, that is we always are reminded of what Jesus has done for us, not just once a year. We still have a special service, etc but the message is the same. Saturday we had choir (yes I sing the choir, I am capable of harmonizing with the person next to me) practice for the Easter program. Then Troy and I zipped up to the temple. We did an Endowment session (we are hoping to go every week at least until we get married) where the couple we had Temple prep with were going through for the first time, and my brother best friend was going through as well we found out when we got there, there were many other friends there. I saw them all in a different light as we were all standing waiting for the session dressed in white. After wards the couple was being sealed. This was the first one Troy and I had seen. What an amazing experience! It was so short and so simple yet so powerful. This isn't a "till death do you part" thing it's FOREVER! If you die you're still married to this person. So you better make sure you love them, or can at least stand them. On our way back to change I saw 2 friends Courtney and Cameron who were visiting home. I forget who said it but it's been said "there are no coincidences at the temple, every thing happens for a reason." Having been going to do Baptisms for the dead since I was 12, I've learned this on a personal level to be true.  After that I was done for the day, at least in the beginning going to the temple can really take it out of you because there is so much to digest and attempt to understand.
Sunday morning I woke up late. But I got to church on time, and sang in the choir. Troy's alarm didn't go off so he slept through church. It was my partners last Sunday, she's been wonderful! Usually churches are packed on Easter Sunday, this one has just a little fuller than usual. I've had up to 5-6 children in my Sunbeams calls, today there was 3. We did the Easter story and colored, like usual. Since it was Easter I made little treat bags. We got invited to the Whetzel's house for Easter dinner. Her youngest son was one of campers at summer rec and now I'm working with her daughter. This is a wonderful family, everyone is welcome with open arms and treated the same. Troy and I got Easter baskets! I haven't got one since I was like 8. And this was a real one, no math work books or underwear, no this was chocolate and gorgeous flower and more chocolate and a Disney princess puzzle. They have known me a year and I've been invited to family events. It's amazing! After they stuffed us with Ham and other goodies it was time to go. They gave us left overs and getting in the car I dropped the Mac n' cheese. I ran inside and she gave me more. When getting out of the car I dropped the meatballs. Thank goodness the Ham was spared! I think my blood sugars are just to high. I haven't had this great of an Easter in a long time. I was surrounded by love ones, and most importantly I truly remembered and understood why we celebrate this holiday.
"Christ the Lord has risen today Hallelujah"
He is Risen!
May we all remember the reason for this Holiday and give thanks to him who has risen.

Julia 

"Are you taking me to the Doctor?"

What a weekend! Mom and Gwen went to Utah to go get David from Provo. This would leave Dad and I alone for the week. As some of you know Dad is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. We found out Friday that he needs to have another eye surgery since he didn't follow directions the first time. So this left little old me alone, and I still have to work and go to school this week, with a man who needs surgery, and can't remember what a doctor told him two hours ago. Needless to say I broke down and Mom came home last night. This was the first time I had spent some really time at home with my dad in a long time. I knew the diagnosis I knew he didn't remember things day to day. What I didn't  know was that his short term memory is basically gone. In order for things to go into long term, they have to make it through short term. This means all new events,  will most likely never be remembered. During the 2 days I was with him he has asked me about every hour "Are you taking me to the doctor?" This was heartbreaking to watch. But every time I said with a smile "No Dad, mom is coming home and will take you."

With Alzheimer's there are usually personality changes. My father who is a very calm tempered man was getting very heated over how to start a DVD. Which remote, which channel, when to hit what button. He kept yelling for my name then he would yell that the company was an idiot for this design, etc. Finally we got his DVD playing and he was content. After this I knew I couldn't do this without help and mom started to reschedule flights. Both his parent's had dementia. Since Dad is the oldest of four boys, the brothers have been watching their oldest brother follow the same path as their father, and see what could (and most likely will) happen to them.  I recently read a book on Alzheimer's called "Finding life in the land of Alzheimer's" If you have a family member with this disease then I HIGHLY recommend this book. This woman's mother had Alzheimer's and she did everything she could to stay out of the way, after she died she starts working at an assisted living facility for Alzheimer's specifically. While none of the characters "are my dad" I saw bits and pieces of him in each.  Here she makes the statement that while it's painful to watch and stand by their side, it must be done. Unfortunately I couldn't stand by his side this time. But I plan to next time.

To learn more about Alzheimer's go to: Alzheimer's Foundation for Ameica

Julia

"Noah Please"

Since everyone seems to have a blog, I figured I'd start one. I got opinions and ideas that I'd like to share with the world. I may not be the best writer or speller (I apologize now), but why not.


 I am a personal caregiver to persons with disabilities. The government pays me to go into peoples homes and help parents with their children of all ages. I'm currently working with a 5 year old with CHARGE syndrome ( go here to learn about it http://www.chargesyndrome.org/about-charge.asp) Both parents work at Mclean Bible Church. Every morning when I come at 7:30AM during breakfast they are sitting as a family and listening to a Bible story or church related tape. What a way to start your day! The other daughter is 7 and goes to a private Christian school. The 5 year old's favorite is the Story of Noah's Ark. She says "Noah please!" She also has a Noah's ark set with animals and people. So we'll sit there and play with this while listening to Noah. I ask questions about the story and she answers them for the most part right. The older sister will jump in and play with us as well. It's so heart warming to see two sisters play together like nothing is wrong. So many siblings avoid the one with disabilities and keep the conversations short and impersonal. These 2 play like any other siblings would and fight like them too. I don't remember a time in my life where I was excited to wake up at 6:00AM to go to work. It's like a version of Seminary. It gets you all geared up for the rest of the day with the Holy Ghost right next to you. As a Sunbeam teacher (3-4 year old Sunday school teacher) it's even better. This 5 year old knows just as much if not more about Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father then a good portion of the population, yet she has a disability... or Ability.
This family has changed my mornings and as a result my attitude for the whole day. As Mormons we talk about being a family and doing things together, learning as a family, etc. But how many of us do it? How many of us hold family dinner? How many of us have daily scripture study as family? But it's all talk! How many of actually do it?! I know I need to better about it. This family is an example to me.
Who would think that the family I work for, that I'm paid to be there, actually gives me so much more.