Change….Sucks.
You probably had one of two thought when you read that:
1.
Yes, can we live under a rock together?
2.
It’s necessary. You can do, just push through
it.
We all know change is necessary. It has to happen. There is
no getting around it. But it sucks. I hate it. I wish it didn’t happen. I want
to the end result, just not the ugly process. I want to wake up one day and
have already accepted the changes and be able to cope with it.
Yet, I
managed to pick the profession where there is constantly change. Dumb move,
Julia.
Everything is different this year. New school, new schedule,
new students, new colleagues, new EVERYTHING. I hate this acceptance process.
Don’t get me wrong, the new school is great! I have great colleagues, they have
been nothing but welcoming and helpful. The students have been (overall) great
and my schedule is good.
But….
I haven’t been stuck in a school since December of last year
or with middle school students since my internship or in cat A room…. (In
special ed there are two big categories. Cat A are students who need support in
a regular classroom or are in a smaller class size. Cat B are severe
disabilities, students who can’t do the general education curriculum.) The perk
of my schedule is that I am constantly moving throughout the building so I’m
not stuck to the same four walls for 7hrs.
I miss everyone from my other school and from the Marriott.
I now have a training near the Marriott, it’s been hard to drive by and not see
my friends there. And I will have this training every week for almost all of
the school year.
These past two weeks I’ve been asked a lot “are you ok?” by
everyone. Home, school, church, neighbors, etc. I clearly have not been hiding
my distress of this change well.
But because of this painful change I’ve made some positive
changes these past few months. Not just work. I’ve colored my hair, started going
to the gym (I know weird!), and have realized I am capable of doing anything I
want. I’ve always known the later, but lately I’ve really felt it. Is it because of this change?
So, am I “Ok?” Not really. But I will be.
