Today Paloma and I were sitting on the bench swing at her dad's complex. She hoped on my lap and started signing the Barney song "I love you, you love me we're best friends..." I almost started crying. This sweet girl who is aware something is going on, unsure of what, just started expressing her feelings in the only way she knows how to. Today her parents also agreed to her starting full day school with ABA methods being used to teach and a 1:2 ratio. I didn't think they would agree to it so quickly. I knew the dad wanted it but I knew mom was on the fence. I was so proud (yes, proud) that they both stepped up and said "lets do it now." I couldn't hold my happiness when I was talking to her mother and teacher. She starts Monday! Another transition in the same week.
A friend once told me "Julia you are being this girls mother, without getting the credit or response a mother." And she's right! She even called me mom for a while! When I leave shes "Good bye Julia, I love you!" then gives me a kiss. I taught her to ride her bike, do her gymnastics stretches, write her name, pick up after her self and many other life skills. The ability for her to remember that love and continue to express it will disappear but I know that we will both always have a love for each other.
As I was leaving I started crying again. I have one more week, yes I will see her here and there. Yes I'm not leaving for ever. But this is more emotional then I ever thought it would be.
Paloma and I will simple learn to love each other, from a distance.