Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Learning to Love from a Distance

Today Paloma and I were sitting on the bench swing at her dad's complex. She hoped on my lap and started signing the Barney song "I love you, you love me we're best friends..." I almost started crying. This sweet girl who is aware something is going on, unsure of what, just started expressing her feelings in the only way she knows how to. Today her parents also agreed to her starting full day school with ABA methods being used to teach and a 1:2 ratio. I didn't think they would agree to it so quickly. I knew the dad wanted it but I knew mom was on the fence. I was so proud (yes, proud) that they both stepped up and said "lets do it now." I couldn't hold my happiness when I was talking to her mother and teacher. She starts Monday! Another transition in the same week.

The thought of this other girl (who I'm sure will be great) will the one taking her to and from school, spending the day with her, be there when she learns something new, give her hugs when she falls, etc. And I just started balling.

A friend once told me "Julia you are being this girls mother, without getting the credit or response a mother." And she's right! She even called me mom for a while! When I leave shes "Good bye Julia, I love you!" then gives me a kiss. I taught her to ride her bike, do her gymnastics stretches, write her name, pick up after her self and many other life skills. The ability for her to remember that love and continue to express it will disappear but I know that we will both always have a love for each other.

As I was leaving I started crying again. I have one more week, yes I will see her here and there. Yes I'm not leaving for ever. But this is more emotional then I ever thought it would be.

Paloma and I will simple learn to love each other, from a distance. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Julia! I am tearful...I know how hard it is to part with the precious ones in our lives. I want you to know that while you had a small moment of time with P, in time and eternity, she will acknowledge that you loved her, and it will make an eternal, timeless difference for her. Those small moments we love--that is what God has given us breath for--and those are the things that transcend time and distance, and though may fade in mortal memory, come back as clear as the sun on a summer day in the presence of eternity. She was so lucky to spend the time she did with you, and I am sure it is your influence that has moved her in what looks like the perfect direction for growth for her. What a bittersweet "so long, for now" it is....Elder Scott once said that the only way to take sorrow out of parting is to take love out of life. You may be comforted in knowing that your sorrow is a beautiful indication of how very much and deeply you have loved her! Praying for you!